empressgoddess' Journal

7:55PM

whats with guys and porn? why look at it if your not going to masturbate?............

10:21AM

I can't get into my email!!!
:(
why oh why...
It keeps saying that its the wrong password and to get a new on I have to put in the zip code from when I made this email in high school and i have no idea what the zip is anymore, i can;t remeber, its been forever since i used it, blah..... i might have to ask my mom.... chances are though she won't remeber at the moment because of whats going on there...

But on happy note, we got the Pirates of the Caribbean at worlds end!! yay
now i just have to wait till i have time with gabe to wacth it. tehe
we were going to get harry potter too but we are waiting for the 2 dics on to could out.
tehe
yay

9:42PM - since i haven't updated in forever spiderwebs have formed. oops

11:53AM - vivi

vivi is gabe's cat, and he's so sweet and cute, i love him, he keeps me company when i'm alone which has been alot lately. and i think thats why he likes me so much, i have no life so i spend it with him and he likes attention.

ok thats enough talk about he cute kitty, tehe
got to get ready for work now, blah, but it does beat staying at home alone

3:47AM

You are a Social Liberal (70% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (21% permissive) You are best described as a: Strong Democrat (21e/70s) Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

2:58AM

ok, i'm not so sad now, exually happy and excited now, i'm moving and this is a nice freeing feeling, was freaking out at first how it came about, but mom cooled down and its all ok now, or it will be

11:55PM - life falling apart

well my life is falling apart. isn't that great?
my crazy mother, well, yeah. she hates gabe now. wants to kill herself, and much more. and now i getto move, oh yeah. i don;t think i'll be having much of a relationship with my mother now, which sucks, mostly since i didm't think it would end this way. and i have no idea what to do and i'm scared and crying all the time.

11:03PM - so if i thought

so if i thoughgt yesterday was a bad day, then today was worst, which it was. ahhh yeah, it sucked, our system went down at 4:18 and never came back on, we had to close early at 8:20 which we got crap for, yeah, it just suck. now i have to go study for a test and write a short paper, oh the fun, the day gets better and better, foooo, oh well the worst of it is over for tonight.

12:29AM - ahhhhhhhhhh

well today was sort of crapy, not that crapy just not good, and blah. I guess it started last night and how i ended up crying myself to sleep cause i'mm to senstive and don't know how to express myself to others. So waking up today sucked. its odd how one day i can be soooooo happy to just think of a certain someone, then the next i'm depressed thinking of them, it dosen't help when you can't talk to them either... sigh

anyways worked sucked some too, just stuoid people and yeah, it feels like their locals when they aren't, just driving everyone that works there nuts. oh and the new guy at the front desk talked to me today and drove me nuts too, now i understand what every other person up there as been saying. so yeah my day was long at work, felt soo exuasted and all i wanted to do was come home to gabe and hug him, but of course thats not possible since its sunday and an overnight night, soo i was hoping just to hear his voice but he didn't pick up( which i totally understand since he was hanging out with his brother, i just miss him and had a crapy day).

soo i came home, yay, made pancakes cause of the craoy day, at least they were good. But mom bought me a progranm for my computer that i totally needed, (but could of figured out how to live with out) and then bitches at me for just telling her i need this program, that she had to spend $150 ( if i hadn't of opened it by then i would of had her return it...) and well then she goes on about passover....
which i soo asked her about if she wanted me to take it off, and she said no, and i understand her reasoning, but then to go on about me on how i should just blow off work soo i can spend time with her for it and do homework...blah....

well i'm she i could vent and ranble more, but i'm getting distracted, sigh

11:16PM - i feel crappy and sad, it sucks

yeah, i was happy most of the day, its weird how just a little thing as well, looking foward to seeing someone and just have a simple converation with them and then not being able to will make me this sad......
then i get all cranky and angry at them when logicaly i know its not their fault but i still felt hurt and well emotions just don't seem to want to follow my logic, it sucks. and i get even work it out with them at the moment i need to because thery're at work and i can't talk to them. and i am not good at bring it up later because its not relitive then, i would just want to forget about and move on, even with out really working it.
ahhh, this suck feeling like this, plus to top it off i get to see a movie i really have no desire to see, but its the only way to see anyone (who will most likely innor me, but i could be wrong, i'm just basing this off past expirence is all...). i thought about seeing a movie i do want t o see thats arouind that time, but they already brought the tickets for us. have no idea why but whatever, i'm hoping to get buzzed before hand so at least it'll be somewhat intertaining, or at least i might have the courge to say the things i will really want to say and well injoy it while ruining it for my super dorkest friends. but i guess i'm not one to talk, i'm going to be doing the same for the simspons and harry potter.... but the people i get to gether with really want to go, and i don't ask people if they have no interest, nor prepressure them to feel left out. ugggg

well at least i do feel better after at least getting this off my chest, thankfully
laters

Current mood: depressed

7:40PM

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4:49PM

so i'm done with school, weeeeeeeeee
now let the boredom begin. i'm glad schools over, but now i have nothig to do, and they cut my hours at work becuase its soooooooo slow till after x-mas.....
would hope people would want to hang out buts i know that a big hope so i won't bother with that....
maybe i can find a new dorkiness thing to intertain on my time off and alone.
not too much going on,
my mom got a computer............ not sure how i feel about that, glad she can stop complainingbut she'll just find another thing for that. blah
well thats all i'm going to say for now, plus i think gabes waking up now.....

8:23PM

BLAHHHHHHHHH
ok, this sucks.
not doing anything and the volume on the computer is not working, i don't know why and i'm suck without youtubes to intertain me in my lonelyness

i give up on the holidays thing too. its a waste of time now, which makes me all depressed cause i used to love holidays. I just got so sick of always being disoppointed cause we never do anything. i would take the day off so i could do something but my mother is all anti holidays unless its jewish holiday and thats only sometimes. but to tell the truth i just don't care anymore. I used to love Halloween but after soo many years of having sucky friends and not doing anything why should i care? thats the one holiday that was the most fun to me and i enjoy the most, but all the people i care about could give a damn about it and me on today, soo now its been ruined for me.
sooooo
i'm going to try now to not celibrate any holidays, if they don't care why should i? i have already signed up for working thanksgiving x-mas eve, and x-mas, think i'm going to volitear to do new years eve and years day too, all the other stupid holiday that come after that to, screw everyone else if they want to do anything. they can do it with other people, they always do anyways so it won't make a differance.
woooooooooo
i'm going to become anti social, artn't i? oh well, i lost faith in people i guess.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
sooo bored
nothing to doooo
damn you sound, damn you!!!!
and theres nothing on tv, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
lame!!!
well i guess i'll just surf the net, with no sound for fun stuff, blah

Current mood: depressed

11:55PM - well

weeeeeeee
well i'm feeling less depressed than lately, soo thats a nice thing, but i'm not working on my homework like i should, ..... oh well

i've been easily moody lately i guess, nice and emotional, and been getting depressed over the stupidest things sooo easily. it sucks, but its life.

oh and i'm really started to hate, or maybe i should say very strongly dislike at this point,overnights. and i don't even work them. its just gets me even more lonely that i am. and my sleep is all messed up too. i keep waking up between 6 and 8am, no matter what time i go to sleep. its like my body knows gabes going to come home at somepoint in that time period... and it isn't till he comes home and goes to bed that i actually get a nice sleep. its always the best sleep, ahhh the sleep, i miss that feeling of peacefulness. woooooo
i think i've ramble quite a bit now.
eh

Current mood: blah

6:05PM - most likely the most polical you'll get me but you'll all driving me crazy!!!

ok
sooo sometimes i feel like i'm the only one who wants to treat people humanely. really, uuggggg. i'm getting sick of people forgetting about that and just want to think about themselfs or their "country", as in people in there country they only feel should be there. yes there are illegels but should you really just treat them like less then human? would you want that for yourself? or do you just think your better and you would never be in that situation? that it dosen't matter. that the U.S. should not set any example in how you treat people? oh and saying that all illegel immigrates take the governments money? well yes in prison cause there not sending them back now. but they do not got government assitants easy at all. do you know how much id you have to show to get that stuff? and then they deny you anyways beacuse you make $5 to much!!! i don't think most of you know what it's like being poor. not knowing how your paying the bill, how you'll always have bad credit, and how you have to work with an underfund, understaffed, and overworked government people who can't do much to elp anyways.
uugggggggg
sorry
i know out of chartiter but i was getting real sick of people and there views on how to treat other people. i guess they just don't care about other peoples humanity or well fare. nor a way to fix it, oh wait why would they want to fix it if they don't care, sorry
ok i'm done
i'll go back to the other me now, sorry again for taking up your oh sooo precious time.
-p.s. its not that i don't see the other side and think they don't have valid points i just still don't agree that there helpful.
the only i could wish/ask/or hope is other people do the same and look at it from a different perspective too

Current mood: annoyed

9:50PM - kitty

8:45PM - sleepy

Mmmmm i'm still sleepy from my nap.
The recusition baquet was ok, ate only half of my food cause they gave me wayyyy to much and gabe ate the rest, tehe, Had some wine too, the first whatever i had cuase i don't know the name wasn't that good, the second one was at least tolible, and i had a mandory sour at the bar that everyone went too after, but unfortunly for darel i wasn't able to have any computition to jess's friday. No drunken shaina, oh soooo sad. :P
i think i'm dehydrated, blah........ i should wake up mom so we could get more water but thats not the best idea, well according to past happenings.

meow

k i'm bored, and not awake enough to do any produktive work, fun.

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k well i'll go intertain myself somehow, eh guess iys time for youtube, whoopie

Current mood: sleepy

9:42PM - i got SUNBURNED!!!!!!

awwwww i can't beleive i got sunburned!!! uugg
its all the buses fault!!! i hate it when they don't come, but its even worse when they totaly innor you... soo i was out side for 45 minutes, and i'm never out that long and normaly i would put on sunscreen but i didn't think i would be out that long. it sucks. i can't wait till i drive now. i won't have to wait for mom or stupid buses again, yay.

anyways work was ok, polished jewlery and such, plus i got to go home early, which was really weird. i felt like i should of been closing and all.

i finaly got a backpack too. yay, and it was only $15, which is perfectly good with me, i can't believe you now have to pay $45!!! thats awful.

i really should be working on my homework but now with this sunbrun, feeling draind, and thats its getting later, i think i'll just do it tomarrow. at least i don't go into 3 and i'll be out by 8:30 yay.

Current mood: tired

10:21PM

meh
went to work and was bored then did back stock on invitory, fun fun that, eh.
i'm cranky and i'm not sure why....

i start school tomarrow, i'm a little scared. don't know who i'll see, i miss everyone. and i'm starting my english class, which freaks me out, i've been advoiding this class fo 2 years now and yeah, plus its been forever since i had to write a paper, eeep. well we'll see how the class goes, hopeully i get a good teacher, and not one i had already cause then it'll be "why are you taking this class now? shouldn't you be done with school already?" eeep. i can't believe i'm starting my 4th year at a community college, it feels sad, but i don't have any idea where i want to go yet. blah, sucky sucky day..............

my summer of fun wasn't very fun. i worked most of it, and did very little, and when i did go out it was with people from work. mind you i like the people i work with but still wasn't who i thought i would be injoying my summer with.

................................................................................................................................. weeeeeeeeeeeee
i just need to add packman here, weeeeeeeeeee. tehe

Current mood: cranky

9:43PM - BORED

bored bored bored and BORED!!!!!!!!
ugg, soo bored here, i don't feel like reading even tho i have enough material to read, just don't feel in the mood for it. and theres nothing on tv!
and my beloved youtubes is not working at the moment, soo that means no live action sailor moon, ahh the greatness of the cheeseness of that, sigh, at last i now have to find something to intertain myself with, fun fun

Current mood: bored